JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
there is glitter all over my balls
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
