So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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