apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
50% drunk capacity currently
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
