hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't deserve a penis
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
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