found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
