Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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