is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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