Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize