Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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