i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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