Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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