you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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