the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
