but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
