everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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