I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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