i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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