dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Randomize
