Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
