Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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