Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
