You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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