Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
