You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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