i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
