I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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