Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
They have beer where we have blood.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
