His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
