Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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