I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
