You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
