It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
