What a fucking waste of an outfit
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
