What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
