I wish I could punch you in the face.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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