you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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