A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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