Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
