Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
