I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
