Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Alive.
So much puke
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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