Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The power of my boobs compel you
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
