Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
