Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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