Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
