It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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