I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize