Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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