woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
