so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
