haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
