Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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