ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
