Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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