Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
