STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
