Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
my poor anus
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
