Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My life is pants optional.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
