Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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