If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
