in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
