Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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