if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
