WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
