wakey wakey hands off snakey
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
