She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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