you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
